Don't feel like doing a DAMN thing!

Argh. I hate feeling like this. Here's the deal...
I just don't feel like doing a DAMN thing!
Don't feel like working...
Don't feel like sleeping...
Don't feel like shopping...

Anyone whose been at my house can attest to some pretty bizarre behavior where I'm concerned. I will, out of the blue, suddenly grab a paintbrush and start painting a room, or re-grouting a mosaic, or cleaning something with gusto. I'm always moving! Always getting something done. So this feeling, of really just wanting to be idle... is so bizarre. I don't like it one bit!

I try to rationalize why I feel like this and the only thing I can come up with is that it's the tadpole's fault. (this is the nickname Johnny and I have given the little bun in the oven cause it's still so small and has webbed feet. hee hee)

My nausea hasn't gotten worse, still very manageable and some days completely unnoticeable. I talked to my cousin Stephanie on the phone last week (to tell her the news) and she said her nausea didn't really start until week 8, so we'll see if I follow the same pattern. (hope not)

Back to this idle-ness... I'm not quite sure what to do about it. And that's frustrating me almost as much! I ALWAYS know what to do about something going on with my body. But this... this is foreign. When I've felt like this in the past it's usually because I'm getting sick, or going through PMS. I've heard that your early pregnancy symptoms can be a lot like "PMS on steroids" because of all of the hormones that are starting to go crazy. But my PMS moodiness rarely lasted more than 1 day... this could last weeks! I'm not sure how to get motivated to pull myself out of it. Any ideas? Oh wait... no one is reading this yet.

There is one other thing that's been going on... it could have been an alternate title for this blog. It's called "What the f*ck have we done?" Yep, that's right, I think the first stage of "scared as hell" is starting to kick in. I mean, come on. Johnny and I have a fantastic life, right? I do my thing, he does his thing, we're madly in love... and now we've gone and decided to change it all! Yes, I'm probably being melodramatic, after all, we're in the perfect position to have a baby... stable marriage, good jobs, finally feel like real grown-ups... but still. I'm scared as hell. Not really of parenthood responsibilities per say (though I'm sure that phase of "scared as hell" will kick in soon enough), but of becoming a different family... the fear factor of changing our entire world.

And again, I know that this is really just moodiness. Cause after a little while, I get all excited again. Up, down, up, down. But always, this desire to just be idle.

Bad timing for idle-ness. This is the last two weeks of our end of fiscal year and so work is kicking my rear end. It requires the kind of concentration that usually energizes me, but right now, I feel like I am having to pull in all of my energy resources to getting it done.

In other news... I'm visiting with a birthing center this afternoon. Yes, yes, it's really early. But, the midwifes say that it's actually a good idea to start doing this now so that we can have a lot of time to develop a relationship. So maybe later this week I'll have a post about how that went.