Am I living in a John Lennon song?

John Lennon's song, Nobody Told Me just got into my head. In particular...

There's always something happening and nothin' going on...
Nobody told me there'd be days like these...
Strange days indeed!

Yep, umm, in a nut shell that's how I feel right now. What the bloody hell is going on with my body?

One minute I feel great, and the next I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and either go to sleep or just pout. No crying yet, but geez. This is crazy! And I have to eat something every hour to avoid feeling nauseous. Well, at least I'm able to avoid it. I know some people can't avoid it no matter what they do but this seems to be working for me for now. So today, I've had the following to eat...

6:45am - Saltine Crackers (a staple in pregnant-lady diet)
9:30am - Yogurt and Granola (during a meeting... thank GOD I work from home)
10:30am - Apple (a little over-ripe... I hate gritty apples, but not as much as I hate feeling nauseous)
11:30am - Leftover spaghetti (about 1/3 of a normal serving size)
1:30pm - One scrambled egg and one piece of buttered toast (this was perfect!)

And then, I just felt like sitting on the couch for the rest of the day. My day started earlier than usual this morning (due to a 7am meeting I had) and I had been working straight through up until the scrambled egg break. (putting my headset on mute so my co-workers don't hear the sound of the microwave in the background)

But alas, I am no slacker. So, rather than just vegging on the couch and playing hookie from work (which was very tempting), I got in the shower. (another advantage of working from home... I have a super flexible working schedule and considering I've put in tons of hours in the last two weeks I don't give myself a hard time for taking a shower and shaving my legs in the middle of the day)

Speaking of shaving my legs... as most of my good friends know this is something that just doesn't happen very often with me. I mean, I don't really need to. Now, before you get all irate and harass me about how it just isn't fair that I've got soft blond leg hair that no one notices is half an inch long, just take a chill pill. Cause for some reason these pregnancy hormones are making my hair grow like crazy! I swear I've had to shave my arm pits twice this week! And that's really unusual for me! (well... considering my close proximity to Eugene Oregon, the world capital of hair armpits, I guess it's not that big of a deal for me to be a big hairy)

In any case, that's what I mean by Strange Days Indeed!
Who am I these days????

PLUS... I feel like a total poser when I tell people I'm pregnant! Granted, I have not told very many people, but my first pre-natal appointment is next week (yes, Johnny is going with me...) and I'm going to be visiting another birthing center next Friday. But... I just don't feel pregnant. I feel like a nauseous moody woman with really sore ta-tas. So when I go in the office, tell the person that I'm seven weeks pregnant, and then say "thank you" graciously when she tells me "Congratulations!", I feel like I'm lying! I mean, come on... this isn't really happening, right?

Last week in Yoga (the night that I had to leave early due to not eating... a mistake I will be sure not to repeat), my good friend Heather (who is about 8 months along with her second pregnancy) and I were talking. She calls me "mama" every time she sees me and it makes me do this cute little giggle / shrug thing. She says things like "How ya feelin mama?". And I just giggle... so silly.

Anyway... Heather was asking me how I was doing and I told her I was having a real struggle with this whole thing. Am I really? What if I changed my mind and don't really want to be? What if I get really excited and something goes wrong? Etc, etc. And, in true Yogic fashion (another reason I love Yoga), she said... "You can get excited, just don't be attached to it". In other words, be excited today if I feel like being excited. Tomorrow, if I suddenly miscarry or find out that something else is wrong, then I'll deal with it then. And if I'm not attached to my ideas about this situation being one way or another, then I won't even have anything to let go of.

A great idea in theory... in practice, it's a bit harder. (that's why they call it practice, right?)

Anywho... back to work now.