Well... today Johnny and I visited the two different pre-natal worlds. The midwifery world of natural childbirth, and the hospital world of modern day medical childbirth.
Suffice it to say we are DEFINITELY leaning towards the birthing center option.
First, at 9am, we toured a birthing center in Portland called Andaluz. Katharine, one of the midwifes there, gave us a tour and stayed with us one hour while I put her through my "Midwife Interview" drill. Johnny was laughing at me midway through when I asked him "Do you have any questions" and he said with a chuckle... "No babe, I think you covered it."
Yep, I think you could say I sufficiently drilled her. I asked her about her professional background, her experience, her philosophy of the birthing process, what their procedures were like, what their medical intervention rates were, what their hospital escalation rates were, how they cleaned their materials, what they did in the event of stalled or delayed labor... and on... and on... and on. And so now, I feel great! Andaluz is definitely a good choice. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I feel perfectly comfortable with choosing them. And, as a little bonus, they have a kitchen in the center and make breakfast for you every morning! How fabulous is that?
We did the interview in one of the birthing suites, and as we were about to leave I got all emotional. The room was decorated really well and I noticed that the paintings on the wall were all of Tuscan landscapes and they all had poppeys in them. Suddenly, I start to cry. (for those of you who don't know... I was really close to my great-grandparents who I called Honey and Poppey). The feeling I got was that they were there with me, and so I just kind of lost it. The midwife was so sweet... she smiled got a little teary eyed herself, and didn't get uncomfortable or anything with my emotional outburst. I could blame it on the hormones, and that's really what it was, but then again... maybe I just needed a little reminder that the people that love me are here with us through this journey... even if I haven't seen them in person for almost twenty years.
After I calmed down, we drove to our next appointment...
Our first prenatal visit with my current nurse/midwife. She is part of the more conventional hospital delivery system (and therefore not going to be my midwife, even though I've been seeing her for a long time and like her quite a bit). She confirmed that I was about 8 weeks along, and then she used a little Doppler thingy to see if we could hear the heartbeat. No luck. The tadpole is still too tiny. (about 5/8" long... the size of a kidney bean).
I told her about our choice to go with a birthing center rather than a hospital delivery and while she supported the decision, I could tell there was a little bit of hesitancy there. Mainly she just wanted to make sure we were well informed, (which is good of course), but I know she could also sense my strong resistance to the hospital idea in general. She kept saying, "A hospital is a good place". I wanted to say, "Yeah, a good place if you're sick... but I'm not sick, I'm pregnant".
In any case, she was kind and professional as always. But the next thing she said got me all excited. She probably did it because we couldn't hear the heartbeat, but she said, "Well let's go ahead and do an ultrasound to make sure there's a baby in there"... yippee! So I got dressed, and we followed her into the ultrasound room. A little squirt of jelly on my tummy and then a moment later, Voila!
There it was...
The tadpole...
With a tiny little fluttering thing in the middle of it. Johnny and I held hands... Wow. Cool.
She snapped some pictures and printed them out for us, but it doesn't look like anything. I'm not even going to put them up on the refrigerator cause I kind of think it's just silly, but seeing the little fluttering heart was way cool. Wow. Look what we did.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Am I living in a John Lennon song?
John Lennon's song, Nobody Told Me just got into my head. In particular...
There's always something happening and nothin' going on...
Nobody told me there'd be days like these...
Strange days indeed!
Yep, umm, in a nut shell that's how I feel right now. What the bloody hell is going on with my body?
One minute I feel great, and the next I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and either go to sleep or just pout. No crying yet, but geez. This is crazy! And I have to eat something every hour to avoid feeling nauseous. Well, at least I'm able to avoid it. I know some people can't avoid it no matter what they do but this seems to be working for me for now. So today, I've had the following to eat...
6:45am - Saltine Crackers (a staple in pregnant-lady diet)
9:30am - Yogurt and Granola (during a meeting... thank GOD I work from home)
10:30am - Apple (a little over-ripe... I hate gritty apples, but not as much as I hate feeling nauseous)
11:30am - Leftover spaghetti (about 1/3 of a normal serving size)
1:30pm - One scrambled egg and one piece of buttered toast (this was perfect!)
And then, I just felt like sitting on the couch for the rest of the day. My day started earlier than usual this morning (due to a 7am meeting I had) and I had been working straight through up until the scrambled egg break. (putting my headset on mute so my co-workers don't hear the sound of the microwave in the background)
But alas, I am no slacker. So, rather than just vegging on the couch and playing hookie from work (which was very tempting), I got in the shower. (another advantage of working from home... I have a super flexible working schedule and considering I've put in tons of hours in the last two weeks I don't give myself a hard time for taking a shower and shaving my legs in the middle of the day)
Speaking of shaving my legs... as most of my good friends know this is something that just doesn't happen very often with me. I mean, I don't really need to. Now, before you get all irate and harass me about how it just isn't fair that I've got soft blond leg hair that no one notices is half an inch long, just take a chill pill. Cause for some reason these pregnancy hormones are making my hair grow like crazy! I swear I've had to shave my arm pits twice this week! And that's really unusual for me! (well... considering my close proximity to Eugene Oregon, the world capital of hair armpits, I guess it's not that big of a deal for me to be a big hairy)
In any case, that's what I mean by Strange Days Indeed!
Who am I these days????
PLUS... I feel like a total poser when I tell people I'm pregnant! Granted, I have not told very many people, but my first pre-natal appointment is next week (yes, Johnny is going with me...) and I'm going to be visiting another birthing center next Friday. But... I just don't feel pregnant. I feel like a nauseous moody woman with really sore ta-tas. So when I go in the office, tell the person that I'm seven weeks pregnant, and then say "thank you" graciously when she tells me "Congratulations!", I feel like I'm lying! I mean, come on... this isn't really happening, right?
Last week in Yoga (the night that I had to leave early due to not eating... a mistake I will be sure not to repeat), my good friend Heather (who is about 8 months along with her second pregnancy) and I were talking. She calls me "mama" every time she sees me and it makes me do this cute little giggle / shrug thing. She says things like "How ya feelin mama?". And I just giggle... so silly.
Anyway... Heather was asking me how I was doing and I told her I was having a real struggle with this whole thing. Am I really? What if I changed my mind and don't really want to be? What if I get really excited and something goes wrong? Etc, etc. And, in true Yogic fashion (another reason I love Yoga), she said... "You can get excited, just don't be attached to it". In other words, be excited today if I feel like being excited. Tomorrow, if I suddenly miscarry or find out that something else is wrong, then I'll deal with it then. And if I'm not attached to my ideas about this situation being one way or another, then I won't even have anything to let go of.
A great idea in theory... in practice, it's a bit harder. (that's why they call it practice, right?)
Anywho... back to work now.
There's always something happening and nothin' going on...
Nobody told me there'd be days like these...
Strange days indeed!
Yep, umm, in a nut shell that's how I feel right now. What the bloody hell is going on with my body?
One minute I feel great, and the next I feel like I just want to curl up in a ball and either go to sleep or just pout. No crying yet, but geez. This is crazy! And I have to eat something every hour to avoid feeling nauseous. Well, at least I'm able to avoid it. I know some people can't avoid it no matter what they do but this seems to be working for me for now. So today, I've had the following to eat...
6:45am - Saltine Crackers (a staple in pregnant-lady diet)
9:30am - Yogurt and Granola (during a meeting... thank GOD I work from home)
10:30am - Apple (a little over-ripe... I hate gritty apples, but not as much as I hate feeling nauseous)
11:30am - Leftover spaghetti (about 1/3 of a normal serving size)
1:30pm - One scrambled egg and one piece of buttered toast (this was perfect!)
And then, I just felt like sitting on the couch for the rest of the day. My day started earlier than usual this morning (due to a 7am meeting I had) and I had been working straight through up until the scrambled egg break. (putting my headset on mute so my co-workers don't hear the sound of the microwave in the background)
But alas, I am no slacker. So, rather than just vegging on the couch and playing hookie from work (which was very tempting), I got in the shower. (another advantage of working from home... I have a super flexible working schedule and considering I've put in tons of hours in the last two weeks I don't give myself a hard time for taking a shower and shaving my legs in the middle of the day)
Speaking of shaving my legs... as most of my good friends know this is something that just doesn't happen very often with me. I mean, I don't really need to. Now, before you get all irate and harass me about how it just isn't fair that I've got soft blond leg hair that no one notices is half an inch long, just take a chill pill. Cause for some reason these pregnancy hormones are making my hair grow like crazy! I swear I've had to shave my arm pits twice this week! And that's really unusual for me! (well... considering my close proximity to Eugene Oregon, the world capital of hair armpits, I guess it's not that big of a deal for me to be a big hairy)
In any case, that's what I mean by Strange Days Indeed!
Who am I these days????
PLUS... I feel like a total poser when I tell people I'm pregnant! Granted, I have not told very many people, but my first pre-natal appointment is next week (yes, Johnny is going with me...) and I'm going to be visiting another birthing center next Friday. But... I just don't feel pregnant. I feel like a nauseous moody woman with really sore ta-tas. So when I go in the office, tell the person that I'm seven weeks pregnant, and then say "thank you" graciously when she tells me "Congratulations!", I feel like I'm lying! I mean, come on... this isn't really happening, right?
Last week in Yoga (the night that I had to leave early due to not eating... a mistake I will be sure not to repeat), my good friend Heather (who is about 8 months along with her second pregnancy) and I were talking. She calls me "mama" every time she sees me and it makes me do this cute little giggle / shrug thing. She says things like "How ya feelin mama?". And I just giggle... so silly.
Anyway... Heather was asking me how I was doing and I told her I was having a real struggle with this whole thing. Am I really? What if I changed my mind and don't really want to be? What if I get really excited and something goes wrong? Etc, etc. And, in true Yogic fashion (another reason I love Yoga), she said... "You can get excited, just don't be attached to it". In other words, be excited today if I feel like being excited. Tomorrow, if I suddenly miscarry or find out that something else is wrong, then I'll deal with it then. And if I'm not attached to my ideas about this situation being one way or another, then I won't even have anything to let go of.
A great idea in theory... in practice, it's a bit harder. (that's why they call it practice, right?)
Anywho... back to work now.
Friday, October 16, 2009
I L-O-V-E Yoga! But this week, it presented some challenges...
Lastnight in Yoga I ran into the second symptom of early pregnancy. The first was the sore boobs which are still there.
The second, is nausea. The Yoga class had been going along fabulously, I felt great, until we started doing some forward folds. And gradually, every time my head would dip below my chest (like in a standing forward fold) I'd get a wave of nausea. And then I realized that I hadn't eaten since lunch.
Bad mistake.
I skipped shavasana and just went home to eat something but when I got to the house it smelled horrible! That morning Johnny had emptied the coffee filter into the garbage and the smell of the stale coffee grinds was so offensive that I asked him to take out the garbage immediately, even though it was almost empty and the coffee was really the only thing in there. Didn't matter. It had to go.
Luckily I was able to get some food down and feel pretty good this morning, but it was a good reminder that I can't just skip meals like I'm used to doing. As my Yoga instructor said to me Yesterday, I must be "like a gazelle" and graze all day. So I'm trying to do that and hopefully I'll manage.
Today is the start of week 7. The tadpole has a little heart bulge and a heart beat and the beginnings of little webbed feet and hands now. And a tail. Cool!
The second, is nausea. The Yoga class had been going along fabulously, I felt great, until we started doing some forward folds. And gradually, every time my head would dip below my chest (like in a standing forward fold) I'd get a wave of nausea. And then I realized that I hadn't eaten since lunch.
Bad mistake.
I skipped shavasana and just went home to eat something but when I got to the house it smelled horrible! That morning Johnny had emptied the coffee filter into the garbage and the smell of the stale coffee grinds was so offensive that I asked him to take out the garbage immediately, even though it was almost empty and the coffee was really the only thing in there. Didn't matter. It had to go.
Luckily I was able to get some food down and feel pretty good this morning, but it was a good reminder that I can't just skip meals like I'm used to doing. As my Yoga instructor said to me Yesterday, I must be "like a gazelle" and graze all day. So I'm trying to do that and hopefully I'll manage.
Today is the start of week 7. The tadpole has a little heart bulge and a heart beat and the beginnings of little webbed feet and hands now. And a tail. Cool!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Don't feel like doing a DAMN thing!
Argh. I hate feeling like this. Here's the deal...
I just don't feel like doing a DAMN thing!
Don't feel like working...
Don't feel like sleeping...
Don't feel like shopping...
Anyone whose been at my house can attest to some pretty bizarre behavior where I'm concerned. I will, out of the blue, suddenly grab a paintbrush and start painting a room, or re-grouting a mosaic, or cleaning something with gusto. I'm always moving! Always getting something done. So this feeling, of really just wanting to be idle... is so bizarre. I don't like it one bit!
I try to rationalize why I feel like this and the only thing I can come up with is that it's the tadpole's fault. (this is the nickname Johnny and I have given the little bun in the oven cause it's still so small and has webbed feet. hee hee)
My nausea hasn't gotten worse, still very manageable and some days completely unnoticeable. I talked to my cousin Stephanie on the phone last week (to tell her the news) and she said her nausea didn't really start until week 8, so we'll see if I follow the same pattern. (hope not)
Back to this idle-ness... I'm not quite sure what to do about it. And that's frustrating me almost as much! I ALWAYS know what to do about something going on with my body. But this... this is foreign. When I've felt like this in the past it's usually because I'm getting sick, or going through PMS. I've heard that your early pregnancy symptoms can be a lot like "PMS on steroids" because of all of the hormones that are starting to go crazy. But my PMS moodiness rarely lasted more than 1 day... this could last weeks! I'm not sure how to get motivated to pull myself out of it. Any ideas? Oh wait... no one is reading this yet.
There is one other thing that's been going on... it could have been an alternate title for this blog. It's called "What the f*ck have we done?" Yep, that's right, I think the first stage of "scared as hell" is starting to kick in. I mean, come on. Johnny and I have a fantastic life, right? I do my thing, he does his thing, we're madly in love... and now we've gone and decided to change it all! Yes, I'm probably being melodramatic, after all, we're in the perfect position to have a baby... stable marriage, good jobs, finally feel like real grown-ups... but still. I'm scared as hell. Not really of parenthood responsibilities per say (though I'm sure that phase of "scared as hell" will kick in soon enough), but of becoming a different family... the fear factor of changing our entire world.
And again, I know that this is really just moodiness. Cause after a little while, I get all excited again. Up, down, up, down. But always, this desire to just be idle.
Bad timing for idle-ness. This is the last two weeks of our end of fiscal year and so work is kicking my rear end. It requires the kind of concentration that usually energizes me, but right now, I feel like I am having to pull in all of my energy resources to getting it done.
In other news... I'm visiting with a birthing center this afternoon. Yes, yes, it's really early. But, the midwifes say that it's actually a good idea to start doing this now so that we can have a lot of time to develop a relationship. So maybe later this week I'll have a post about how that went.
I just don't feel like doing a DAMN thing!
Don't feel like working...
Don't feel like sleeping...
Don't feel like shopping...
Anyone whose been at my house can attest to some pretty bizarre behavior where I'm concerned. I will, out of the blue, suddenly grab a paintbrush and start painting a room, or re-grouting a mosaic, or cleaning something with gusto. I'm always moving! Always getting something done. So this feeling, of really just wanting to be idle... is so bizarre. I don't like it one bit!
I try to rationalize why I feel like this and the only thing I can come up with is that it's the tadpole's fault. (this is the nickname Johnny and I have given the little bun in the oven cause it's still so small and has webbed feet. hee hee)
My nausea hasn't gotten worse, still very manageable and some days completely unnoticeable. I talked to my cousin Stephanie on the phone last week (to tell her the news) and she said her nausea didn't really start until week 8, so we'll see if I follow the same pattern. (hope not)
Back to this idle-ness... I'm not quite sure what to do about it. And that's frustrating me almost as much! I ALWAYS know what to do about something going on with my body. But this... this is foreign. When I've felt like this in the past it's usually because I'm getting sick, or going through PMS. I've heard that your early pregnancy symptoms can be a lot like "PMS on steroids" because of all of the hormones that are starting to go crazy. But my PMS moodiness rarely lasted more than 1 day... this could last weeks! I'm not sure how to get motivated to pull myself out of it. Any ideas? Oh wait... no one is reading this yet.
There is one other thing that's been going on... it could have been an alternate title for this blog. It's called "What the f*ck have we done?" Yep, that's right, I think the first stage of "scared as hell" is starting to kick in. I mean, come on. Johnny and I have a fantastic life, right? I do my thing, he does his thing, we're madly in love... and now we've gone and decided to change it all! Yes, I'm probably being melodramatic, after all, we're in the perfect position to have a baby... stable marriage, good jobs, finally feel like real grown-ups... but still. I'm scared as hell. Not really of parenthood responsibilities per say (though I'm sure that phase of "scared as hell" will kick in soon enough), but of becoming a different family... the fear factor of changing our entire world.
And again, I know that this is really just moodiness. Cause after a little while, I get all excited again. Up, down, up, down. But always, this desire to just be idle.
Bad timing for idle-ness. This is the last two weeks of our end of fiscal year and so work is kicking my rear end. It requires the kind of concentration that usually energizes me, but right now, I feel like I am having to pull in all of my energy resources to getting it done.
In other news... I'm visiting with a birthing center this afternoon. Yes, yes, it's really early. But, the midwifes say that it's actually a good idea to start doing this now so that we can have a lot of time to develop a relationship. So maybe later this week I'll have a post about how that went.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Really? Nah... I'm making this up.
So this is interesting...
For the past two days, I've been having fewer "early pregnancy symptoms". The nausea has not picked up yet, the boobs have stopped being so sore, and other than still not starting my period, nothing is happening.
I can't help but think... "Am I making all this stuff up? Am I really pregnant?"
And it's all I can do to not go to Walgreens and buy another pregnancy test... just to make sure!
Then I remember that my doctor has already confirmed it, and that I spent 15 minutes yesterday filling out all of this pre-natal paperwork. If my doctor has endorsed this, then surely I'm not making it up. But still...
I know that in a few weeks I'm probably going to laugh hysterically at this post... when those symptoms really start kicking in. But for now, it's just weird. Feels like the twilight zone... or a bizarre dream.
Also... I decided yesterday that I need to actually interview midwives rather than just defaulting to my nurse/midwife who has been my primary ob/gyn doctor for the past 7 years. She's great, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure she's the right person for us. So... when I finally release this blog, I'll be asking those of you who have done the midwife tract before, "How do you know you've found the right one?".
Just thoughts...
The good news is that my brain is finally letting me focus on work during the day again. I swear, the last 4 working days I have not been able to focus on ANYTHING! First it was just too hard to think about anything with the "Am I? Am I not?" questions going round and round my head. Then it was "I AM! I AM!". I'm so glad that I'm actually able to get some work done now. Good timing... cause things at work are about to get C-R-A-Z-Y! I might have to travel in the next few weeks, so I'm sure I'll be calling my doctor about that.
For the past two days, I've been having fewer "early pregnancy symptoms". The nausea has not picked up yet, the boobs have stopped being so sore, and other than still not starting my period, nothing is happening.
I can't help but think... "Am I making all this stuff up? Am I really pregnant?"
And it's all I can do to not go to Walgreens and buy another pregnancy test... just to make sure!
Then I remember that my doctor has already confirmed it, and that I spent 15 minutes yesterday filling out all of this pre-natal paperwork. If my doctor has endorsed this, then surely I'm not making it up. But still...
I know that in a few weeks I'm probably going to laugh hysterically at this post... when those symptoms really start kicking in. But for now, it's just weird. Feels like the twilight zone... or a bizarre dream.
Also... I decided yesterday that I need to actually interview midwives rather than just defaulting to my nurse/midwife who has been my primary ob/gyn doctor for the past 7 years. She's great, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure she's the right person for us. So... when I finally release this blog, I'll be asking those of you who have done the midwife tract before, "How do you know you've found the right one?".
Just thoughts...
The good news is that my brain is finally letting me focus on work during the day again. I swear, the last 4 working days I have not been able to focus on ANYTHING! First it was just too hard to think about anything with the "Am I? Am I not?" questions going round and round my head. Then it was "I AM! I AM!". I'm so glad that I'm actually able to get some work done now. Good timing... cause things at work are about to get C-R-A-Z-Y! I might have to travel in the next few weeks, so I'm sure I'll be calling my doctor about that.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
A Baby?
10.06.09
So, it looks like we're having a baby! "Wow" is an understatement. "Holy Shit" is an understatement. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" closely approximates the feeling.
Here I am, 30 years old, having a BLAST with my husband (time of my life, couldn't ask for anything more), and somehow it seems we've made the decision to just up-end the whole ship and change our life.
Are we excited? Hell yeah!
Are we nervous? Absolutely.
...But more than that, I feel anxious. I want to know what's happening, and I want the baby to be here NOW! I think Johnny feels the same way. Once you decide on something, you want to just move towards it. No delays, no second guessing, just GO GO GO.
But with a baby, it doesn't exactly work that way. You have to wait 38 freaking weeks for this thing to actually happen! BTW... I think it's ridiculous that they start counting your weeks of pregnancy before you are actually pregnant... in truth pregnancy is 38 weeks, not 40. But I digress...
Don't get me wrong, it's not like you can second guess being pregnant... you just are. (well.. after the whole "when two people love each other very much..." part. hee hee) But now that we're in the waiting time period, this feels like agony! Already! And I'm only 5 weeks along! The baby isn't a baby yet, it's just a few cells (well, maybe a few million cells).
aye aye aye... for those of you who know me well (and only those who know me well are allowed to look at this blog), this is torture! I'm a "get'er done" type of person. I make a decision and BOOM, make it happen. But this... waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Already I'm complaining about this and have only known I was pregnant for 5 days.
So, the reason for this blog, at the moment, is to provide a little venting for my pressure cooker brain. I think I'll go insane without some place to jot down some thoughts or humorous things.
And don't worry... I'm not going to tell anyone about this until past the three month mark. Just in case something unexpected happens... you never know. Speaking of which, is it true that more and more women are miscarrying their first pregnancy? I think I heard that the statistic was around 50% of first pregnancies miscarry. geez. Not great odds.
... By the way... Kim... you're the reason I say "geez" all the time. I think of you every time I do it. :)
So... no real news to report right now. No vomiting, but a little nausea throughout the day. (why, oh why do they call it morning sickness when it happens all day and all night? that is such a crock! I think it's irresponsible marketing... false promises made to mothers-to-be)
By the way, I found out two things that I didn't know about pregnancy yesterday.
1) I can't eat deli meat!
No kidding... I can't believe it! My diet regularly contains deli sandwiches and now it seems I'm going to be forced to cook for myself for lunch! (working at home and all that jazz) Who would have thought that you couldn't have something as simple as deli meat when you were pregnant. Last weekend, after we found out I was pregnant, but before I found out about the deli meat thing, Johnny and I split a sandwich from Safeway. He looked at me and asked, "Are you sure you can have mayonnaise"? I laughed and said, of course, thinking he was just being cute (it's so sweet... he asks me that with almost every meal... "are you sure you can have that?")... but now I'm thinking, OH CRAP! If I can't have deli meat, maybe I can't have mayonnaise. And so I begin scouring the internet for all sites about what not to eat when you're pregnant. And here's where I learn that blogs are NOT the best place to get information. For everyone that says "don't do this" there's someone else that says "I did it and my baby turned out fine". This is frustrating for an engineering type like me because I think that there should be an answer in the back of the book! Or that you should be able to analyze the crap out of something and come up with a solid position about it! But alas, I'm sure this is my first lesson in parenting. There is never going to be only one right answer, and only one right way to do something. Heaven help my indecisive mind and the husband who must tolerate me!
2) I can eat shellfish!
I was almost positive that I couldn't eat mussels or clams while pregnant, but it turns out you can! You just can't eat raw oysters (which I've actually come to enjoy in the last few years... so that's a bummer).
Last weekend we were up in Seattle, which gave us a fantastic opportunity to tell my Mother, Carly, that she was FINALLY going to be a grand mother. Can I just say that that was the MOST fun ever! Her reaction was so fantastic... in true Carly fashion she cried, wailed, laughed, danced, sang, praised God... it was awesome!
Anyway... Mom made a pasta for dinner that had mussels in it. I didn't eat the mussels, but now I know I could have. Hmm. Interesting. Mussels seem like a much more dangerous thing than deli meat, don't they?
ahhh... ok. I think I've vented enough for right now.
oh... by the way... the name of the blog...
you know... wondering if it's going to be a boy or a girl (pink / blue)... then thinking about what color to paint the baby's room (I think I like sage green right now)... and then the word "sage" also is used to mean wise... I don't know, probably over thinking it... but that's how it came about.
C-ya!
Here I am, 30 years old, having a BLAST with my husband (time of my life, couldn't ask for anything more), and somehow it seems we've made the decision to just up-end the whole ship and change our life.
Are we excited? Hell yeah!
Are we nervous? Absolutely.
...But more than that, I feel anxious. I want to know what's happening, and I want the baby to be here NOW! I think Johnny feels the same way. Once you decide on something, you want to just move towards it. No delays, no second guessing, just GO GO GO.
But with a baby, it doesn't exactly work that way. You have to wait 38 freaking weeks for this thing to actually happen! BTW... I think it's ridiculous that they start counting your weeks of pregnancy before you are actually pregnant... in truth pregnancy is 38 weeks, not 40. But I digress...
Don't get me wrong, it's not like you can second guess being pregnant... you just are. (well.. after the whole "when two people love each other very much..." part. hee hee) But now that we're in the waiting time period, this feels like agony! Already! And I'm only 5 weeks along! The baby isn't a baby yet, it's just a few cells (well, maybe a few million cells).
aye aye aye... for those of you who know me well (and only those who know me well are allowed to look at this blog), this is torture! I'm a "get'er done" type of person. I make a decision and BOOM, make it happen. But this... waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Already I'm complaining about this and have only known I was pregnant for 5 days.
So, the reason for this blog, at the moment, is to provide a little venting for my pressure cooker brain. I think I'll go insane without some place to jot down some thoughts or humorous things.
And don't worry... I'm not going to tell anyone about this until past the three month mark. Just in case something unexpected happens... you never know. Speaking of which, is it true that more and more women are miscarrying their first pregnancy? I think I heard that the statistic was around 50% of first pregnancies miscarry. geez. Not great odds.
... By the way... Kim... you're the reason I say "geez" all the time. I think of you every time I do it. :)
So... no real news to report right now. No vomiting, but a little nausea throughout the day. (why, oh why do they call it morning sickness when it happens all day and all night? that is such a crock! I think it's irresponsible marketing... false promises made to mothers-to-be)
By the way, I found out two things that I didn't know about pregnancy yesterday.
1) I can't eat deli meat!
No kidding... I can't believe it! My diet regularly contains deli sandwiches and now it seems I'm going to be forced to cook for myself for lunch! (working at home and all that jazz) Who would have thought that you couldn't have something as simple as deli meat when you were pregnant. Last weekend, after we found out I was pregnant, but before I found out about the deli meat thing, Johnny and I split a sandwich from Safeway. He looked at me and asked, "Are you sure you can have mayonnaise"? I laughed and said, of course, thinking he was just being cute (it's so sweet... he asks me that with almost every meal... "are you sure you can have that?")... but now I'm thinking, OH CRAP! If I can't have deli meat, maybe I can't have mayonnaise. And so I begin scouring the internet for all sites about what not to eat when you're pregnant. And here's where I learn that blogs are NOT the best place to get information. For everyone that says "don't do this" there's someone else that says "I did it and my baby turned out fine". This is frustrating for an engineering type like me because I think that there should be an answer in the back of the book! Or that you should be able to analyze the crap out of something and come up with a solid position about it! But alas, I'm sure this is my first lesson in parenting. There is never going to be only one right answer, and only one right way to do something. Heaven help my indecisive mind and the husband who must tolerate me!
2) I can eat shellfish!
I was almost positive that I couldn't eat mussels or clams while pregnant, but it turns out you can! You just can't eat raw oysters (which I've actually come to enjoy in the last few years... so that's a bummer).
Last weekend we were up in Seattle, which gave us a fantastic opportunity to tell my Mother, Carly, that she was FINALLY going to be a grand mother. Can I just say that that was the MOST fun ever! Her reaction was so fantastic... in true Carly fashion she cried, wailed, laughed, danced, sang, praised God... it was awesome!
Anyway... Mom made a pasta for dinner that had mussels in it. I didn't eat the mussels, but now I know I could have. Hmm. Interesting. Mussels seem like a much more dangerous thing than deli meat, don't they?
ahhh... ok. I think I've vented enough for right now.
oh... by the way... the name of the blog...
you know... wondering if it's going to be a boy or a girl (pink / blue)... then thinking about what color to paint the baby's room (I think I like sage green right now)... and then the word "sage" also is used to mean wise... I don't know, probably over thinking it... but that's how it came about.
C-ya!
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